Hi Khody, your first two paragraphs are good. You have included your own ideas and a strong argument. Your last two need work as on one you didn't actually cite the source of information and the other one is just information you have found during your research. Remember, it is good to use that if you cite it (you did that really well on second paragraph) AND add your ideas to link it to your argument. Kia kaha
Hi Khody, your first two paragraphs are good. You have included your own ideas and a strong argument. Your last two need work as on one you didn't actually cite the source of information and the other one is just information you have found during your research. Remember, it is good to use that if you cite it (you did that really well on second paragraph) AND add your ideas to link it to your argument. Kia kaha
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